Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
