so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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