We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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