Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
