so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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