just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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