i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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