Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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