I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
