Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize