he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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