I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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