his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
