someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
