He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
