I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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