Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize