CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
last night I used snow as a chaser
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
