New low: just hacked my moms facebook
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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