Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
