So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
