i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
