Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
