Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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