I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
jump out the window naked night went bad
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