obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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