gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize