If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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