I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
