i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
people are starting to question the shark bite story
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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