I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
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