do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
