I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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