Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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