idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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