we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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