Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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