Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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