Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
