omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I forget how to act sober
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize