for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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