so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
