Just fell off a train. Bad.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
