i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize