i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
