just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
My penis needs a shock collar
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
