I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just want to make out with him forever
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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