The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
