i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
