Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
