Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
