It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
