Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
