Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
