gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
