why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Randomize