dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
he was CRYING into my vagina
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
