If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
