it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
What a dumb baby whore.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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