can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
How external is "for external use only"?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
