you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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