We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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