never play flip cup with pint glasses
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
