We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
