I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
