I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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